Death Drive beneath the stage: exploring the addiction to danger

You entered a hall, full of crowds, waited for an hour or two — excited, curious, impatient. Your favorite artist arrives, and everyone feels the full euphoria. For two hours, you forget about the world. You immerse yourself in the experience: the noise, your favorite artist, and ultimately… the death drive.

Freud believed the death drive shows up in our minds as a leaning towards self-destruction, or directing that tension outwards as aggression. This idea comes from the compulsion to repeat, where we engage in behaviors not driven by pleasure.

Also touching upon collective identity during concerts: I cast aside my roles as a researcher, daughter, and sister. I evolve into a integral part of the crowd, immersed in a space where I can sense every goosebump, belt out the loudest tunes, and effortlessly meld into the moshpit. It’s my kind of ‘symbolic order.’

My curiosity kicked in when I found myself able to attend countless concerts and festivals in Europe. My familiarity of the death drive became more intense than ever, weaving its way into my being.

I’m into all sorts of music, from classical and pop to rap and electronic — letting the diverse beats, sometimes lyrics and rhythms amplify that deep sensation within.